SQLBits 2014

Revenge: The SQL!

Are you a frustrated DBA? Ready to snap? Before you do, come see Revenge: The SQL! and learn a kinder, gentler form of vengeance.
Pop quiz DBA: Your developers are running rampant in production. Logic, reason, and threats have all failed. You're on the edge. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

Hint: You attend Revenge: The SQL!

This session will show you how to "correct" all those bad practices. Everyone logging in as sa? Running huge cursors? Using SELECT * and ad-hoc SQL? Stop them dead, without actually killing them. Ever dropped a table, or database, or WHERE clause? You can prevent that! And if you’re tired of folks ignoring your naming conventions, make them behave with Unicode…and take your revenge!

Revenge: The SQL! is fun and educational and may even have some practical use, but you’ll want to attend simply to indulge your Dark Side. Revenge: The SQL! assumes no liability and is not available in all 50 states. Do not taunt Revenge: The SQL! or Happy Fun Ball.