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Revenge: The SQL!

Pop quiz DBA: Your developers are running rampant in production. Logic, reason, and threats have all failed. You're on the edge. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

Hint: You attend Revenge: The SQL!

This session will show you how to "correct" all those bad practices. Everyone logging in as sa? Running huge cursors? Using SELECT * and ad-hoc SQL? Stop them dead, without actually killing them. Ever dropped a table, or database, or WHERE clause? You can prevent that! And if you’re tired of folks ignoring your naming conventions, make them behave with Unicode…and take your revenge!

Revenge: The SQL! is fun and educational and may even have some practical use, but you’ll want to attend simply to indulge your Dark Side. Revenge: The SQL! assumes no liability and is not available in all 50 states. Do not taunt Revenge: The SQL! or Happy Fun Ball.
Presented by Rob Volk at SQLBits XII
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  • SpeakerBIO
    rob_volk.gif
    Rob Volk is a database administrator in the Atlanta, Georgia area since 2001, having worked in the wireless telecom, utility billing, and credit card processing industries.  He started using SQL Server with version 6.5 and is very glad to have upgraded since then. He has presented at several SQL Saturdays and user groups in the US, and looks forward to his American jokes falling flat with the UK audience, which may prompt a poor imitation of The Parrot Sketch. In his spare time he accomplishes more than he does on the job, just don't tell his boss.
    http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/robv
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